Top 5 Lessons for Foster or Adoptive Parents

Rebeca and her husband, Lee, fostered and adopted two children. These are her tips for current and prospective foster or adoptive parents. You can read their full story here

1. If you are fostering or adopting siblings, see them as individuals instead of as a set. Get to know what each of them needs.

2. Follow former foster youth and adoptees on social media to understand their experience, what helped them and what did not. Follow social media accounts of foster families who prioritize reunification as the goal.

3. Be respectful of the children’s biological parents. We don’t know the parents’ stories or how they grew up. Generational trauma is very hard to get over.

4. In a relationship between adults, you don’t say “I love you” the day after you meet someone. To expect children to call you “mom” or “dad” before they are ready is disrespectful to the kids. It should be their choice.

5. Work with a reputable organization like Wayfinder. I get emotional about our Wayfinder case workers. It’s incredible the work they do for the kids and families. It’s beyond expectations. It’s been absolutely an amazing experience.


November 3, 2023